The Swastika Machine Workshop

November 1st, 2008 by Timo Vuorensola

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I returned from my London-Stockholm-London -trip back to Finland in Saturday, and right away took a cab to Kaapelitehdas in Helsinki, to Alternative Party 2008, where the other guys from Energia were already waiting. We had been preparing to do what we called the “Hakenkreutzierungmachineworkshop”, a small workshop where we asked our people – the Iron Sky community – to help us out with a certain prop we needed for the film.

The prop, called indeed the “Hakenkreuzierungmachine”, (e. “The Swastika Machine”, f. “Hakaristeytyskone”), had been a tricky item for us for a pretty long time already. It had been written to the script, and it plays sort of a big role at least at some point of the film, but we had been debating for as long as the script has existed on how the thing would actually work, what it would look like, and how it would be operated.

Story requires that it is supposed to be sort of an “audioweapon” built by the Nazi scientist in their great wisdom during the 70 plus years they’ve been hiding in the far side of the Moon. In it, they have compressed all the speeches of Adolf Hitler and Josef Göbbels in a soundburst of one second, which is transmitted in various different wavelenghts, that are thought to affect the human brain subliminally, to the audience. See, dr. Reinhardt Richter, the developer of this awesome device, has found out that average non-Aryan human being actively only uses 10% of his or her’s brain capacity, but is capable of far more complex processing if treated the right way. Dr. Richter believes that the device will make all those that are under the influence of the soundburst to understand all the relevant messages of the National Socialism in just few seconds, thus becoming Nazificated. Obviously, he has been unable to test the theory and the machine, given the fact that all the Nazis in the Far Side of the Moon are already Nazificated.

We gathered two small groups of Iron Sky -enthusiastics, told them the above and then gave them some instructions on how to work. Basically, we wanted them to design us the Hakenkreuzierunmachine, a portable model of it.

And off they went. One hour of tight collaboration, the two groups came up with awesome results, both of them very funny, well-thought and right to the point. We had a hard time to decide which of the designs was better, but finally settled with design by the group number one.

Here’s the result, and the description:

HAKENKREUZIERUNGMACHINE

The HK Machine consists of a main unit with numerous gauges, dials and switches, two separately adjustable loudspeakers, and a fuel tank which accepts a torpedo-shaped cartridge of crystallised Helium-3. The backpack-sized contraption is so heavy it needs one person just to carry it around, who must wear a protective suit because of the heat (and noise) generated. A separate operator then prepares and activates the device. The procedure goes like this:

1. The carrier dons the protective suit and straps on the device.

2. The operator inserts a fuel cartridge and secures the tank lid.

3. The operator makes sure all the switches are in the “Off” position; checks the H3 pressure; sets the desired range; and adjusts the loudspeakers for either a wide or narrow area of effect.

4. The carrier assumes firing position. Proper bracing is important. The operator slams down the firing lever. A tape begins playing, saying “Bitte hören, bitte hören” (“hear ye, hear ye”). Studies have shown that a polite request like this improves the device’s effectiveness. The operator supports the carrier and counts aloud: “Drei… zwei… eins… feuer!” The sound blast is released. A tremendous recoil knocks the carrier back.

5. The lever is returned to the up position and a 20-second cool-down period begun (because the sonic vibration heats up the device). The fuel cartridge is good for about four blasts, after which it must be replaced. A fit, Aryan operator can carry about half a dozen cartridges.

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It was very delightful to find out that the people – a totally random groups of folks – were able to pool their creativity, engineering skills and minds together and created something we desperately needed for, and the result was much better than we had ever hoped for.

In addition of providing us the crucial plans of the design of HK-machine for Iron Sky, I’m delighted to find out again how collaboration with the audience can be very effective, fun and turn into something much better than what filmmakers could’ve come up just by themselves.

This is also the whole core idea of WreckAMovie, just in analog form. We are hoping to build a forum, a gathering place for people from all different fields of life, pool their resources and enthusiasm together, and serve it for the use of filmmakers around the world.

Energia Productions would like to thank everyone who participated the workshop, as well as the organisers of he Alternative Party this year! And to the filmmakers around the world – don’t be afraid to work with your audience – your community. There’s an ocean of possibilities out there just waiting for you to use them.

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The Swastika Machine Architects In Action: Juho Hartikainen, Eevi Korhonen, Lare Lekman, Joonas Mäkinen, Matti Pajunen, Jalmari Raippalinna and Osma Suominen (in no particular order) sweating their asses off to create the greatest invention in Nazi Science!

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6 Responses to “The Swastika Machine Workshop”

  1. Jan says:

    This sounds very odd in my (german) ears, because the swastika isn’t something we’re talking much about in Germany… But you’re in Finland ;-) And I’m very curios about “Iron Sky”. By the way: The correct spelling would be: Hakenkreuzierungsmaschine. If you need further assistance with german vocabulary, don’t hesitate to contact me. Don’t call me a fault-finder, please, I’m a big fan of Samuli Torssonen’s work and creativity, as you can see in this article – unfortunatly in German only.

  2. You are right, the correct spelling is that, and it’s written like that in the script, but I just happen to screw it up always :)

    Ps. thanks for blogging about Samuli and our stuff!

    Timo.

  3. Jan says:

    Oh, your spelling skills in German are far more advanced than mine in Finnish. ;-) I hardly know a single word from your language…

    Best wishes and kind regards from Hannover :-)

  4. Bruce Thompson says:

    It seems to me that the look of the hakenkreuzierungsmaschine
    (HKM) would be dependent upon the amount of technological transfer between supporters on earth and the moon base where invention and fabrication of the device take place. An analog style instrument would suggest little contact between earth and the moon base while a HKM with a more modern appearance would hint at technology transfer. Second, fabrication facilities and materials, if the base is limited by material production then perhaps a hybrid looking HKM with analog dials and gauges but a more modern appearance.

  5. JoonasD6 says:

    Thanks one more time for the delightful worhshop event. It was a pleasure to design that infernal machine. :-)

  6. I’m reminded of a Demotivational Poster seen on 4chan or somewhere… “NAZI SUPER SCIENCE: When regular Super Science just isn’t evil enough.”