Confessions of a Cigarette Smoking Man.

December 16th, 2008 by Jarmo Puskala

There’s been an interesting discussion going on in the comments section of the Iron Sky teaser.

It all started with a guy going by the name of jamesbrownintown accusing us of being CIA disinformation agents. Now, if you spend time on any conspiracy site you’ll notice that there must be awful lot of disinfo agents on CIA’s payroll – well, at least according to conspiracy theorists. Certain groups of conspiracy theorists seem to label anyone who disagrees with them as disinfo agents. Then those accused of being disinfo agents accuse the accusers of being disinfo agents themselves.

Anyways, it does make me feel kind of important being considered an agent for The Man. Actually I just watched the X-Files episode “Dreamland” where Mulder switches bodies with the MIB. That was cool even my Mulder’s stardards, getting to run around Area 51. That would be a huge ego trip being on the inside, being the one keeping the secrets and knowing if aliens exist and if Hitler is still alive. Then you could go on snickering at all the Lone Gunmen types who belive all the stories of Elvis being a bigfoot you make up to hide the real truth.

One thing that’s also obious browsing the conspiracy sites is that it goes both ways. It’s a huge ego trip to think you know the Real Truth and then going on the Internet to tell everyone – and if somebody disagrees that must mean it’s really true since they’re clearly trying to bury the truth.

Anyway, there’s proof why we must be working for the man:

There’s no doubt that the producers of this film are recieving extensive funding from some organization to muddy the waters on the Nazi moon conspiracy. Unless these guys are rich beyond measure which I doubt. The special effects are the kind of high budget you would see in star wars episode 1

Why, thank you. Compliments are always most sincere when they come in the form of accusations for being part of the greatest deception even perpetrated on mankind.

Of course after this it turned into a flame war:

god you’re an idiot. the producers are receiving extensive funding because this is a holly wood movie and because it’s a fucking awesome story.

Now, of course WE know the real truth. It’s not a Hollywood movie, but Finnish and the extensive funding wouldn’t have been enough to pay for the rental of portapotties used on set of Spider-Man 3 . Indeed, sometimes the truth is actually weirder than the conspiracy theories.

On a related note, here’s the answer to jamesbrownintowns question:

1. How much are they paying you and is it worth the greatest deception ever imposed on the world in the 20-21st century? – The apollo moon landing broadcast was faked as we all know now!

Unless CIA is channeling funds trough the Finnish film foundation we haven’t been paid anything. Honestly. If – and I’m pretty sure that’s not the case – they were and the support we’ve received was due to diplomatic pressure and the threat of hitmen, then we’ve been paid enough to buy a couple of used cars. And if there are any shady goverment organisations listening, no that’s not enough for being a part of the greatest deception ever, please, give us more money.

But let’s be serious about conspiracy theories and the entertainment business for a second.

Making a movie you tend to talk to a lot of people and hear all kinds of stuff. They say that Ronald Reagan asked Steven Spielberg to arrange a private screening of ET and when the credits were rolling leaned over and said “You have no idea how true that was”. But to our experience men in suits just don’t knock on the door with briefcases full of non-sequential bills. Somehow I doubt the shadowy goverment types would want to trust any state secrets to people who make their living by telling stories to as many people as possible.

But, as I said, you talk to people and people seem to like talking to you – and it’s great. We’ve been contacted by people who’ve wanted to tell us things the world doesn’t know. I can’t say I would believe much of the wild theories, but they are interesting. However, there are couple of special ones.

One is the only thing I’d openly make fun of – because it’s just so screwed up I don’t know what else to do. A man wanted us to make a movie about his love affair with a 10 year old boy he believes to be the re-incarnation of Jesus Christ. Unfortunately it is a true story. And yes, the man was convicted. And then there’s one other thing that while it’s propably just someone yanking our chain I don’t really want to talk to because a) if it’s not true then I don’t want to be quoted as a source and b) if it’s true I definitely don’t want to be quoted as a source.

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5 Responses to “Confessions of a Cigarette Smoking Man.”

  1. Faldor says:

    Obviously, the conspiracy is only known to the very top levels of Energia and your simply not in on it ;)

  2. S says:

    ” A man wanted us to make a movie about his love affair with a 10 year old boy he believes to be the re-incarnation of Jesus Christ. ”

    I would actually really want to see this film.
    See to “one hour photo” or “in my skin” or much of lars von trier’s work for how to do unconventional topics and characters.

  3. Indeed, when you put it like that it does sound like a subject for an artsy, festival friendly indie film.

    But I don’t think we’re yet in the point of our careers where we can make a film about child molestation – Kevin Bacon has been on every film ever made, but he still could barely do The Woodsman. Though maybe it was because in the end that film was more like a cheesy redemption flick than anything worthwhile.

    Hard Candy was quite a different kind of film, but did a lot better job on the subject and managed to pretty much avoid all cliches.

  4. Mikko Monto says:

    “The special effects are the kind of high budget you would see in star wars episode 1″

    This really made my day.

    - Mikko, SpecialFX Project Leader

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