The Name’s Pig, Guinea Pig.

February 25th, 2009 by Antti Hukkanen

Being a long-time guinea pig owner and all around rodent person, I’ve been more excited than anyone probably should be about the upcoming Disney/Bruckheimer offering called G-Force, a CGI-enhanced action comedy about high-tech superspies who just happen to be guinea pigs. Now, the premise may not sound like much (and it’s certainly likely to end up as just another cute-talking-animals-seamily-interacting-with-live-actors summer flick), but the trailer actually shows some promise. Check it out:

Of course, the actors constitute a Hollywood all-star lineup (Nicolas Cage, Penélope Cruz, Steve Buscemi, the list goes on), but more importantly, the writers seem to understand their subject matter – that is, guinea pigs. Sure, Rodney the smart-aleck guinea pig in Dr Dolittle had some of the best lines in the film (which is not saying much, admittedly), but he wasn’t particularly cavylike. G-Force features guinea pigs whose “IQ is off the scale and their motor skills are incredible.” As anyone who has ever owned a cavy can tell, that describes the polar opposite of an actual guinea pig. (Just this morning, I tried to coax my GP to do a trick – stand up on his hind legs – but he couldn’t even figure out where to look for the bribe carrot.)

Moreover, their team leader is named Darwin. That’s about the funniest name possible for a creature that is pretty much the strongest proof against the theory of evolution. I mean, what kind of natural selection could produce a fat, clumsy, noisy critter whose primary asset for survival is to look so pitiful that no self-respecting carnivore would be caught dead hunting one?

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3 Responses to “The Name’s Pig, Guinea Pig.”

  1. Bagushii says:

    Oh sheesh. Using animals for the purpose of producing entertainment for humans is so passé. Sounds strange coming from me? Maybe.

    As I understand it guinea pigs evolved in an environment devoid of effective carnivore hunters.

  2. saritachiquita says:

    LOL – I think the movie looks funny. It’s just supposed to be fun summer entertainment, and you’re so right with the cast. Tracy Morgan and Will Arnett are in it, so that’s bound to produce some laughs for me.

  3. Indeed, the continuing existance of guinea pigs is proof that the most competent meat eating creatures in their habitat must be ones that think trying to teach guinea pigs tricks would be a good idea…