Chuck Norris to lead the 2nd American Revolution?

March 10th, 2009 by Jarmo Puskala

We’ve got a big script meeting coming up tomorrow so naturally I decided to brush up on the latest conspiracy theories. However I wasn’t exactly prepared for the idea of Chuck Norris leading a revolution against the US goverment:

The call by some right wing leaders for rebellion and for the military to refuse the commander in chief’s orders is joined by Chuck Norris who claims that thousands of right wing cell groups have organized and are ready for a second American Revolution. During an appearance on the Glen Beck radio show he promised that if things get any worse from his point of view he may “run for president of Texas.”

I bet you’re thinking that this shit has to be made up. But no, Glenn Beck is the latest greatest hope for the American rightwingers with a radio show and his own show on Fox News (and formerly CNN).

Today in his syndicated column on WorldNetDaily Norris reiterates the point: “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

On other news. Well, actually more like “not on the news” since this is more from alternative sources, it seems a American neo-nazi with a $10 million trust fund had stockpiled materials for a dirty bomb. What would have happened we’ll never know, since allegedly his wife shot him.

I think this might be a good time to be slightly worried about what’s happening in the land of the free. And not least because we all know Chuck Norris is so tough his pickup truck runs on Vin Diesel.

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18 Responses to “Chuck Norris to lead the 2nd American Revolution?”

  1. Saruwine says:

    The Looney Star state, eh?

  2. Joona says:

    I think it goes without saying you should cast Chuck Norris as the US president in 2018, and Ahnuld in opposition as the president of the free state of California. I’m sure the guys have enough sense of humour to appear virtually free in cameo roles if you asked.


  3. S says:

    ..and that is why idiocracy wasn’t funny.. it was a documentary

  4. Julian says:

    My patience with the right wing freaks in my country is at an end.

    And they have the sheer nerve to call people like ME “communist”
    simply because I do not conform exactly and precisely to their
    narrow and twisted little view of reality?

    They are “echelons beyond reality.” Any sort of reality whatsoever.

    They are 180 degrees out, they are wronger than Wrong Way Corrigan;
    they have departed from optimum flight path at extremely high velocity and altitude, accompanied by explosive liberation of parts from the frakking airframe, and they have totally been eating bad shrooms, man.

    And no, Chuck Norris’s tears can NOT cure cancer.

  5. I think that Chuck Norris would be a great leader for the 2nd American Revolution (non violent- just pressure, pressure, pressure). The America that we grew up with is gone – I want it back! We have only a limited amount of time to keep our country from going down the spiral to oblivion! I want to do something – don’t you!

  6. Mel Cameron says:

    Some posters seem more interested in style and wit than substance, so I apologise for boring you with facts. Some 25 states have already challenged the Federal Government on the issue of sovereignty. The Federal Government has long been planning and implementing a literal takeover of American states, even with military force. Why? Because of the drive for so-called ‘global governance’, more accurately called global fascism, that is global rule by central governments and corporations. There can be no such thing as state sovereignty under such a system. Neither can there be personal sovereignty, just a system of total electronic control of citizenry and suppression of humanity in the name of global environmentalism.

  7. Julian says:

    Oh, so SORRY for BORING you with simple expressions of EMOTIONS
    without adding a laundry list of factoids to our posts, Mister Cameron!!

    I *DO* ever so deeply APOLOGIZE.

    (bows mockingly)

    Next time I react to something, I’ll just pick through Alex Jone’s Prison
    Planet website for more FACTOIDS to contribute so that YOU won’t be
    oh so OFFENDED.

  8. Rob Bruce says:

    Guys ……….save your energy for the real enemy. Test all things and remember, there are no atheists in fox holes! An organisation divided within itself will fall.

  9. Julian says:

    Wow, are YOU getting off topic.

    STFU and GTFO.

  10. Rob Bruce says:

    hmmmmmmmmm……..if the cap fits….wear it!

  11. Mel Cameron says:

    Hey, the point I’m trying to make is that America faces a serious dislocation. The governments are preparing for martial law because they expect social breakdown from the financial crisis. Being conservative or liberal is largely irrelevant. The task at hand it to rescue the nation, to turn off the TVs and mobilize, inform and act to alert the nation. Here’s one late warning – April 19-20 is a ‘favorite date’ for terrorist events. It’s apparently got some occultic significance. Waco, OKC, Columbine are April 19 events.

  12. Mel Cameron says:

    Let me clarify the above. There is massive social engineering taking place globally, largely through ‘environmentalism’ which is actually a the soft face of eugenics and population control. Terrorism is being used to herd people and most of the terrorism is coming from ‘our side’ eg 9-11, London Bombings, OKC, Waco etc. Even the ‘lone nut’ killers are being psychologically trained to do their evil deeds with the objective being a total, global ban on gun ownership.

  13. Julian says:

    You’re doing an unfortunately very bad job making your “point” by talking about conspiracy theories and “occult dating” for terrorism.

    I’m sorry, but I have heard this kind of thing before, it’s shallow-minded
    pop culture trash the media puts out for one purpose only:

    To make people like *you* panic.

    It’s easy to control a population through a constant undertone of terror
    delivered by the media, especially if one ideology has a low-cost medium
    like AM Radio practically locked up. And that medium is only one small part
    of the whole…agenda, dare I say it.

    It’s not only the greenies and the leftist hippies who have an agenda.

    It’s a typical far-right-wing tactic, and sadly, it looks to me like you fell
    for it hook line and sinker. What a waste.

    You also don’t know anything about Finns OR their history OR their mindset.

    I *do* know a couple of things.

    Do you really think the Finnish people will let some stupid EU twit in Brussels tell them they can’t have their guns, when, oh, hello, take a look at who their neighbors to the East are!!

    Yeah, it’s the Russians. The same Russians the McCarthyite right wing was screaming so hysterically about in the ’50′s, ’60′s, ’70′s, AND ’80′s.

    “Oh, the Russians are gonna attack Israel, waah waah waah!!”

    Oh this, oh that. Don’t make me PUKE.

    If you really think people are so stupid and weak and spineless as to obey an edict without questioning it or resisting if they disagree with it, or even actively rebelling and disobeying it……

    **…without some false flag Chicken Little LIKE YOU ranting at them that the sky is falling, and then contemptuously calling them “sheeple” when they refuse to listen because by gods they have heard all this garbage before…
    AND THE SKY ENDS UP NOT FALLING AFTER ALL simply because you were lying to them to try to get them to kneel to your self righteousness…**

    …..then you had better take another look at human history.

    Now, I’ve wasted enough time talking to you.

    Go tell your conspiracy theories to the Marines.

  14. John Gault says:

    i hate liberals. they want to tell everyone else how to live, fornicate, eat think and soon even breathe. To XXXX with them. I hope the conservative states with all the nukes, military bases and missiles secede if it gets bad enough that we feel trapped in a socialist/communist nightmare where our children are indoctrinated like the young pioneers were in Communist Russia (NEA anyone?).

    Now that C02 is classified by the Liberal policy wonk scientists (justifying their funding for decades for sure) and that greenhouse gas and fat people are destroying the planet, the liberals will probably tax breathing and ration food and throw fat people in prison to save the planet or some other such bull cookies. Control, Control, Control and ever more control by the government. Dont trust anyone who trusts the government to solve our problems.

    The only liberal ideas i agree with are evolution and clean air/water. But thats about it. The rest is Total and complete BS. These liberals think of our government (and the UN for that matter) as some glorified Star Trek Lite Utopia “Federation”. But thats a science fiction show, it isnt reality. But liberals are never grounded in reality just feel good (I feel your pain) no consequence, non-judgemental (as long as your not an evil conservative, that is) with an all-powerful government funded by money from the sky (we can just print more and more money – well tax the morons children later after we have total control)

    I freaking hate them. Total and complete A-holes. Id rather take part of the country for conservatives and true free thinking libertarians – let the liberal-socialist types move to the NE and California and Oregon etc. Leave the midwest and the SE for us.

    Borders, Language Culture. Three things the liberals hate, loathe and seek to control for their own twisted communist-socialist agenda. They want to destroy america and make it a turd world country. we have to stop them at the voting booth if possible but failing that perhaps by any means necessary eventually if there isnt any other way to save our republic from going socialist-communist.

  15. Wow, that was a rant if I’ve ever seen one. Kind of misguided too.

  16. A. Citizen says:

    Rant? Whatever. I agree completely with John Gault.

  17. Julian says:

    Wow, the **** can’t even think for itself and be creative with a username, it has to swipe a name from an Ayn Rand screed.

    “John Galt/Gault”!

    How childishly transparent!!

    I *spit* on your “superior” ideology that claims
    “liberals say fat people are destroying the planet”!

    According to the likes of YOU, Bernie Madoff was a HERO.

    Here’s a quote from your goddess of the Gordon Gekko
    brand of Pure Flawless Capitalism:

    “The man at the top of the intellectual pyramid contributes the most to all those below him, but gets **nothing** except
    his material payment, receiving no intellectual bonus
    from others to add to the value of his time. The man at
    the bottom who, left to himself, would starve in his hopeless ineptitude, contributes nothing to those above
    him, but receives the bonus of all of their brains.
    Such is the nature of the ‘competition’ between the
    strong and the weak of the intellect.
    Such is the pattern of ‘exploitation’ for which you
    have damned the strong.”

    Ohh pity pity poor oppressed Bernie Madoff.
    Poor poor Alan Greenspan.
    Poor Poor George Bush 43.

    Now get out and go elsewhere to conform to your precious little elitist Randian peer group, and plot out your
    terminally unworkable greed-based anti-compassionate
    pseudo-society where smoking cigarettes so you can die
    early is considered GOOD for you, and human beings
    are ultimately reduced to predator versus prey.

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