FINNISH CHRISTMAS LAW
Allegedly some Jesus guy was born a couple of thousand years ago 4000 miles from Finland, but around here we know best of all how to celebrate Jesus’ birthday properly.
To Finnish tightwads adhering to the christmas ritual in most puritanic manner is so important, that with no doubt it will soon get a law of its own. In that some hicksville, nevada some jesus freak defines with the support of a net address of likeminded whiners, that every Finn has to sing Heinillä Härkien Kaukalon. Unless he wants to mark himself guilty of destroying Finnish culture.
In the Chrismas law, one should also note the following things essential for the Most Genuine Christmas in the World.
1. Noncommerciality. Nothing is so vile and disgusting to an earthy Finn as the habit of that corrupt people, Amerikans, with their appalling habit of advertising Coca Cola in holidays. The fuck does Coca Cola have to do with christmas, asks a deeply insulted Finn, and opens up a good honest bottle of Kossu?
2. Santa is from Finland. Period. The geezer in Rovaniemi who’s taken his look from Coke ads is seriously no mickey mouse character. That strongly this truth is believed by any Finnish white, middle aged person.
3. Self made presents. A proper Finn takes at least two weeks vacation in December, so she can knit ecologically bred Greenpeace approved wool socks, cast non-suffering wax christmas candles, sterilise thirty Amnesty International certified glass jars to store self made jam from oppression free apples, and attend a calligraphy course by a teacher from the free democratic people’s republic of China so the greeting cards will not have crude handwriting.
4. Relaxing. If you begin to stress out, when you by night try to sterilise those jars in a 50 degree oven, and while sewing little red checkered patches to glue on every jar, you are ruining everyone’s xmas with your stress, get it?
5. Declaring christmas peace. Questioning the higher brain functions of any Turkuan is of course soo nineties, but get real – tell me how to take seriously people who voluntarely gather in thousands in a biting freeze? To listen to some official city asshole telling them to go home and shut the fuck up for two days if they don’t want to get beaten officially to shit and thrown in the slammer?
6. Declaring christmas “peace” part two: march of the Pori Brigade. In addition to gloomy sulking, threatening with god and government, Finnish christmas tradition also includes a military march. Thanks a lot, vets.
7. C-Minor yowlings- Sure, we’re partying the birth of J.H. Christ which is a happy thing. But you better keep in mind that already in five months the guy’s frakkin’ dead.
8. Christmas food. In a culture where you have a concept of a smorgasbord or colloquially seisova pöytä, “open standing table”, it sounds perfectly natural many of the casserole dishes are called “boxes”.
9. Den blomstertid nu kommer. Just thought that you gotta sing that in spring school ending ceremonies.
10. Immaterialism and true spirituality. “This christmas I didn’t give any to the Salvation Army christmas collectors, but decided to think nice thoughts of the poor instead.”

Translated without permission. Original Finnish content copyright Ms. Virpi Salmi and Helsingin Sanomat.
Translation and selected slight profanity added for effect copyright Joona Vainio as himself.

Please don’t forget to celebrate the Wintersonnenwende (the real black sun ;-))!

We also tried to do it so that not too much of that stuff is left to Samuli and Energia team, because they do have their hands full with full-CGI shots already.

I’d be interested to know if a) this tight schedule is mandated by the tight budget, and b) what Timo would’ve liked to do different with more time. I can’t imagine you could do Kubrick -style million takes per shot. I guess the preparation was top notch. And i hope you didn’t have to leave too much to correct in post-production – we all know Samuli et co have their hands full as it is…